McConnell Went Down to Georgia

lyrics by Michael Oatman
to the tune of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by Charlie Daniels
(c) 2020 Fli Bi Nite Music, Ltd. (MRLCH)
MTP samples (c) 2020 NBC News Productions [here]

McConnell went down to Georgia
He was lookin' for a Senate to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he made up his mind
that the election wasn't real

When he came across this fat man
Lyin' to the voters and lyin' a lot
And McConnell crawled up on a hickory stump
And said, "Boy, let me tell you what,"

"Now I might be a turtle,
but I'm a bullshit player, too
And if you'd care to take a dare, 
I'll make a bet with you,"

"Now you got a pretty good swindle, boy,
but give McConnell his due
I'll bet Loeffler & Perdue for America's soul
'Cause I know I'm richer than you."

The man said, "My name's Donald, 
and I don't mind to sin
So I'll take your bet, you know you'll regret
Since I only ever win!"

Donald, get your rallies out and play your people hard
'Cause Death Cult's loose in Georgia and McConnell deals the cards
And if you win, you get to say the election there was stole
But if you lose, McConnell gets our souls!

McConnell raised his turtle face 
as he said, "I'll start this show"
And cash flew to his fingertips 
as he tried to stop the votes

And he purged and purged and pulled the strings 
as he made an evil hiss
And GOP demons joined in, 
and it sounded somethin' like this:

(use sampled MTP speech from Lamar Alexander on 2020.12.13)

When McConnell finished
Trump said, "Well, you're pretty old, you're done
But let me grift donations now
And let me show you how I won!"

"Fire from Stone Mountain", run, boy, run,
McConnell's in the house of the risin' sun.
Rudy's in the courthouse leakin' out dye.
Crazy fucking court briefs?  Lie, child, lie.

McConnell bowed his head 
because he knew that he'd been beat,
And he laid that golden gavel
on the ground at Trump's defeat.

Trump said, "McConnell, come back in two years
since I know you'll wanna try again.
Joe named you once, you're Moscow Mitch,
But I'm the best that's ever been", unmade. 

"Fire from Stone Mountain", run, boy, run,
McConnell's in the house of the risin' sun.
Rudy's in the courthouse leakin' out dye.
Crazy fucking court briefs?  Lie, child, lie.